Stormie’s (Attempts) at Zen Sunday
I haven’t been very consistent in the last two weeks with my changes. In many ways this is bad, but in a very uncomfortable way it is good.
When I was in college I would have said the Universe was sending challenges my way to test my resolve in my new lifestyle. When I was super religious I would have said the devil was trying to stop me from doing better by sending obstacles to make me give up. Now I don’t know what to think. I know when you attempt any change it is like cleaning a really messy room. It always gets worse before it gets better.
So this is my worse. If I don’t give up it will get better. I have already taken baby steps to change my “every day job”. You really shouldn’t wake up every morning saying, “I hate my life,” because you know you have to go there. Meditation showed me this. I would be calm and then think about my job and immediately begin to tense and become angry. I couldn’t even enjoy Sunday because I was thinking about going to work on Monday.
I will keep changing. It is very painful. My hope is to reach the point where I won’t be too tired to write after work without two cups of really strong coffee. That was my goal when I started. I just wanted the energy to write. Along the way I’ve discovered my life is full of energy suckers and the process may take a little longer than I imagined.
Do you have any people, excuses, lifestyle habits or even situations that are keeping you from your ideal life? What are your energy suckers and what are you doing to get rid of them?